Accountant Community

Menikahlah Tepat Pada Waktunya

2011-01-07T07:10:00.000-08:00

Saat aku mulai Log In dan masuk ke menu “Home” di situs jejaring social itu, aku membaca beberapa status temanku. Tak sengaja aku menemukan banyak status temanku yang sudah menikah. Dari status yang dituliskannya nampak jelas dantara mereka ada yang menyatakan kegembiraanya karena telah memiliki sang pujaan hati dan sang tambatan jiwa, yakni seorang suami yang soleh. Tak hanya itu, ada juga yang bersyukur dan menyatakan bahagia karena baru saja ditraktir makan malam di sebuah restaurant yang dihiasi dengan beberapa titik-titik cahaya lilin putih dengan disuguhi oleh atmosfer ruangan yang cukup romantis. Hampir sebagian besar yang mengungkapkan kegembiraan lewat statusnya yang aku jumpai itu adalah pasangan yang belum lama menikah. Dari mulai yang baru dua bulan, dua minggu, bahkan dua hari.
Namun pemandangan yang berbeda aku jumpai dari beberapa tetanggaku yang telah menikah beberapa tahun yang lalu yang juga umurnya tak terpaut jauh denganku. Pada awal pernikahan mereka tampak cukup bahagia. Laksana sepasang merpati yang sedang memadu kasih, mereka tampak cukup mesra. Dunia serasa milik mereka berdua. Mungkin mereka merasa surga telah berada dalam genggamannya. Tapi kini mereka mulai tampak kebingungan. Suasana rumah tangga yang tadinya bagaikan surga, kini mulai merambat seolah menjadi neraka. Berbagai macam masalah mulai bermunculan disana-sini. Kebiasaan pasangan yang tidak disukai yang pada awalnya bisa diterima kini mulai dikeluhkan. Penghasilan yang tidak tetap pun menjadi bagian masalah tersendiri buat sang suami. Ia mulai kegingungan untuk mencari penghasilan tambahan untuk menghidupi anak istrinya. Akhirnya Interaksi dengan sang istri pun kurang begitu harmonis.
Begitu pun dengan sang istri, ia mulai berkeluh kesah dengan kondisi rumah tangga yang semakin lama semakin tidak harmonis. Kurangnya ilmu dan pemahaman terhadap agama menjadi kendala utama. Disaat awal menikah ia menjalani rumah tangga hanya mengandalkan perasaan cinta sesaat yang baru mekar di dalam hati. Ia tak memiliki pemahaman ilmu yang baik saat memulai pernikahannya. Akibatnya emosinya yang masih labil sangat mempengaruhi setiap tindakannya. Bahkan tak jarang ia memuntahkan api cemburunya dihadapan sang suami yang masih lelah setelah seharian membanting tulang demi menghidupi anak istri lantaran pulang terlalu larut malam.
Fenomena yang aku ceritakan memang terlihat cukup kontras. Banyak pasangan yang pada awal menikah merasa sangat bahagia, namun kebahagiaan itu pun sirna seiring dengan berjalannya waktu. Aku teringat dengan beberapa patah kata yang dilontarkan salah satu dosen FE UII yang melakukan pernikahan disaat masih duduk di bangku kuliah. Beliau adalah bapak Bekti Hendrianto. Ia menikah disaat masih menyelesaikan kuliah strata satunya di Kampus Gadjah Mada. Ia menuturkan, “Menikahlah tepat pada waktunya”. Kalimat yang dilontarkan beliau ini mungkin cukup sederhana. Akan tetapi dibalik kesederhanaannya ternyata tersimpan berjuta makna. Beliau menjelaskan bahwa banyaknya pasangan muda yang kurang bahagia disebabkan oleh ketidaktepatan waktu ketika melakukan pernikahan. Dengan kata lain, mereka menikah pada kondisi yang belum “mampu” baik secara fisik maupun secara psikis. Sehingga tak jarang banyak pasangan yang merasa “babak belur” dalam menghadapi permasalah yang muncul setelah melakukan pernikahan.
Kalimat yang dilontarkan dosen yang juga sebagai direktur P3ei ini memang benar. Argumennya semakin diperkuat dengan banyaknya tulisan di internet terkait risiko yang dapat ditimbulkan oleh pasangan yang menikah pada saat usianya masih muda. Ditengah asiknya aku melihat-lihat status beberapa temanku di facebook sambil sesekali mengetik di fasilitas chat, aku pun menyempatkan diri untuk browsing di Google dengan memasukan kata kunci ‘dampak negative menikah dini’. Beberapa detik kemudian banyak sekali bermunculan berbagai macam tulisan terkait dengan topik yang aku ketikkan. Salah satu diantaranya yakni pada sebuah milis sehat disebutkan bahwa pasangan yang menikah dini dapat mudah terserang penyakit khususnya bagi si ibu ketika dia sedang hamil. Anak usia 15-19 tahun lebih besar kemungkinan untuk mengalami komplikasi selama kehamilan dan persalinan termasuk Fistula obstetric, yakni sebuah kelainan pada daerah alat kelamin. Tak hanya itu, perempuan yang hamil di usia muda juga besar kemungkinan dapat memiliki anak dengan berat badan rendah, anemia dan kurang gizi. Sedangkan dampak hamil muda bagi si ibu yakni rentan terkena kanker serviks.
Data yang aku sebutkan diatas hanyalah salah satu dari sekian banyak tulisan terkait dengan menikah dini yang aku jumpai di internet. Namun jika kita hubungkan dengan beberapa status pasangan yang baru menikah di facebook, fakta yang terjadi di sekitar tempat tinggalku, kalimat yang dilontarkan Bapak Bekti hendrianto, dan data yang ditemui di internet maka bisa kita tarik benang merah bahwa setiap orang akan lebih baik menikah jika tidak hanya telah merasa siap akan tetapi mereka juga telah merasa mampu. Merasa siap saja tidak cukup. Hal ini karena bisa jadi kita menikah karena keinginan sesaat semata tanpa didasari dengan pertimbangan yang cukup matang. Jika ini terjadi maka pernikahan yang dilakukan di usia yang masih muda hanya sekedar mimpi dan obsesi yang tak mudah terwujudkan.

Childhood as a Big Factor That Influences the Improvement of Entrepreneurship

2009-05-12T07:52:00.000-07:00

Childhood as a Big Factor

That Influences the Improvement of Entrepreneurship

I. Introduction

There was a child who was born in a rich enough family. His family always accommodated all of his need. So that, he did not used to work hard. Then, after graduating from the university, he was accepted in a company that demanded him to work hard but because he did not use to work hard, several months later, he lost his job. This story is a snapshot from the life of rich families in the world, mainly in Indonesia which assume that success just come from how long people study in formal education and how high their GPA without considering their attitude and their endurance in solving the problem. On the contrary, many people that have worked hard since they were children, then they have become successful person. Some of them were Kuota Matsuda, the chief executive of Tulli’s Copy Japan Co., began his childhood by selling the newspapers. While Matsusita Konosuke, the king of electricity in Japan who owns about 600 companies in 1985, when he was 10 years old, his parents ordered him to work in the “Godai” bicycle shop. It happened because of the economic condition of his family. Moreover, his formal education was only until the Elementary school. What made them to be successful entrepreneurs was their struggle of life in their childhood. From the story of their life, we can learn that to be a great entrepreneur, parents should introduce the principle of entrepreneurship to their children early in their childhood.

II. Discussion

Some people assumed if entrepreneurship could be gain in formal education. It is still the most important thing for some nations in many countries, especially Indonesia. Many Indonesians feel proud if they are able to graduate from the university. Moreover, many parents carry out their children only by entering them into formal education without considering their ability in managing their life. A person from Jakarta, Dadan Wahidin, also agrees this assumption. He wrote in his paper that, “The system to improve the quality of human resources in Indonesia is always related to the process of improving the quality of formal education”. In other words, people in Indonesia still have paradigm that formal education is the measure of the quality of human being and the guarantee to be a successful person.

Whereas many facts have shown us, that formal education does not the guarantee for success. Kompas (Sunday, September 21, 2003) has demonstrated us that there were about 9.13 million unemployed people in Indonesia and 30% of them were graduated students or intellectual people that have studied much theoretical knowledge in the formal education, University. Moreover, Republika (Thursday, April 4, 2009) showed us another fact. On this daily newspaper, there were approximately 400.000 graduated students, which were unemployees in this country (According to ‘Direktur Penelitian dan Pengabdian Masyarakat’, Dikti, Depdiknas’, Prof. Dr. Ir. Suryo Hapsoro Tri Utomo ME). While according to International Labour Organization (ILO), the unemployed rate will increase around 20 million, which is caused by Financial Crisis. Peter van Roij, the director of ILO Jakarta, said that the increase of unemployed people in Indonesia would enlarge into 1.43%. If the financial Crisis did not happen, the rate of unemployees would not improve until 8.87%. However, it would be only 7.44%. In addition, according to ngampus (April 3, 2009), in 2008 the number of unemployed in Indonesia was the highest one in Asia. Likewise, the research by Badan Pusat Statistik (BPS) concludes that the numbers of unemployed people of graduated students are about 12.59%. These data are very hesitant to be seen and there are many people who gave their comment regarding to it. Many economists said that the main reason of increasing number of unemployees is financial crisis. However, in the writer opinion, the learning point that we can take from this phenomena is formal education is not always become the most important factor for success, but the most essential one is how they manage their life, not only gain from the education of their family environment but also from their struggle of life in their childhood.

Family environment plays a very important role in developing children skill. firstly, according to the Bernoulli Entrepreneurial Learning (5+5+5 BEL) Method TM (Iannarelli & Mischel, 2006), “the social cognitive theory which identifies cognitive development as a product of a child’s personal social interaction with his or her surrounding environment, provides the foundation to research in the area of entrepreneurial development with family businesses”. Key factors identified from research using the Bernelli framework across different cultures, include not only the influence of gender, but also culture and governance. Iannarelli concludes that if the acquisition of leadership skills is introduced at a young age just as it is introduced in a family business, then there is a possibility that children in general too, might have the opportunity to develop leadership skills and that this development should be guided by skills sets.

Secondly, Albert Bandura developed the cognitive social learning theory, which explained human cognitive development in relationship with the environment (Patsula, 1999).

“As a child develops and interacts with the environment, these interactions create an intimate personal relationship between the child and surrounding world. These personal and internal factors influence the cognitive development of a child. The family structure is critical to this development in the early years since this is where children primarily interact. The culture of the family is the focal point of stimulation that spurs the child through developmental stages”

Albert Bandura told us that family environment is the most influence factor that can determine the character of the human being. In other words, it can be said that to be a successful entrepreneur, parents should introduce the entrepreneurship to their children early in their childhood.

Thirdly, based on Journal article written by Cindy Lannarely and Hazel gooding (Bernelly University) and Leann Mischel (Susquehanna University) (2005) the development of self includes psychological, biological, and cultural factors. Carl Rogers, one of the fathers of human potential development, defines this development, which evolves throughout childhood as a collection of beliefs about one’s nature, unique qualities, and typical behavior (Weiten, Lloyd & Lashley, 1991). Biological factors as defined by nature are hard wired into the human make up, but the psychological and cultural beliefs are influenced by external experiences. One’s understanding of self evolves throughout childhood and gradually stabilizes over time to form our psychological self (Weiten, Lloyd & Lashley, 1991). In other words, the synchronization of self-psychology is established by family education and began since they are childhood.

Fourthly, in relation to the family businesses, Iannarelli (1992) points out that socialization in a family business environment is a long life process which encompasses a number of issues such as early experiences at home and in the business, the development of career interests, perceived opportunities, empowerment, learning styles, life stages and relationships with parents, siblings, and mates. Furthermore, children in the family business learn throughout their lifetime as a participant observer, with various degrees of knowledge transferred from the older generation to the younger one. This knowledge is often transferred in different ways such as over the dinner, family gatherings and through actual experiences at the business. Collected over the lifetime of the entrepreneur in business, this knowledge could be labeled as “accumulated knowledge”. It is the information, which could then be passed on from one generation to another. Children use this source of accumulated knowledge in different ways, as they work in the family business, work for someone else or operate their own business.
Those theories above show us clearly that family environment is the most important element in developing the entrepreneurship.

Moreover, the struggle of life in their childhood also gives big influences in developing an entrepreneurship. DR. Paul G. Stolz (197) believed that to be a successful entrepreneur, people need Adversity Quotient (AQ). Adversity Quotient is a conceptual system in determining and responding the problem. It determines how people endure in their difficulties. Many managers in Mott’s found that AQ could predict how people respond the problem. In “First Data Corporation”, he obtained that AQ can predict whether people can solve the problem or not. While in Delloite & Touche LLP, AQ determined people who have achieve the achievement more than their expected job. In other words, we can say that the bigger AQ of people means the bigger struggle of their life. As a result, the struggle of life should be built to the people by their parents early their childhood.

Then, David Moors (2007) in his book, The Enterprising, said that the indications of entrepreneurship are about the personality and the entrepreneurs themselves, beside supported environment, the duties that they carried out and the achievements that they achieved. Moreover, he said that “The act of entrepreneurship is an act patterned after modes of coping with early childhood experiences”. As a result, we can assume that he considered childhood as a great factor that determines the successful entrepreneur.

In addition, Victor Kiam (2007), an entrepreneur, suggested the same thing as what David Moors has told in his book. Kiam believed that entrepreneurship should be given to the children since they are in their school because the philosophy of entrepreneurship can train children more self directed and sharply detecting the challenge, so they will have an ability in creating something. From this theoretical perspective, it could be assumed that if the entrepreneurship is introduced to the children since they are childhood, they will have more capability about how to manage themselves in their life. Furthermore, if they can do it well, they can also be a great entrepreneur.

Besides, according to the journal article written by Judy Drennan, Jessica Kennedy and Patty Renfrow (2005) under the title “Impact of Childhood Experiences On The Development of Entrepreneurial Intentions”, suggested that children should be introduced with difficult childhood because it can lead them to be an enormous entrepreneur. Obviously, they do not advocate that children should experience violence or moved around frequently so that they become more interested in starting a business. They do suggest, however, that if the attitudes that may arise from a difficult childhood and frequent relocation are well understood, improvements may be made in educational interventions that seek to influence entrepreneurship.

Furthermore, a research by Collin and Moores (1968) and Zaleznik (1976) has concluded that, “The act of entrepreneurship is an act patterned after modes of coping with early childhood experience”. This assumption is agreed by many ‘teachers of leadership’ who acquiesce that what happen in the early periods of our life will make substantial changing in the next periods. They believed that the experiences of their childhood influence the success of a person. These experiences also make force in critical thinking, needness to try, discipline, and other things that can make a person develop her or his self-confidence and their need of achievement. In contrast, the experiences of their childhood also make a person do not have an ability to do those things. Moreover, another research to many leaders that was done by Manfred Kets de Vries (1995) concluded that the hardness of childhood make a stimulus to lead, as what he said:

“Because of the hardships they have encountered, many of them seem to be on a mission: they are going to prove the world wrong; they are going to show everyone that they can amount to something. Many of them, suffering from what could be called the Count of Monte Cristo complex (after Alexander Dumas’s novel), go even further: they have a very strong need to get even for the wrongs done to them at carlier periods in their lives”

In other world we can say that the struggle of life in childhood lead people to do something more, especially to be a great entrepreneur.

III. Conclusion

Although many people in our country still have assumption if formal education is the most important thing for their life, especially for entrepreneurship, but the theories and the fact have proven that it is not the most essential thing. Because in formal education, people only study many theories, however, to be an entrepreneur people need many practices. These practices will have greatest extent if they are used to be introduced early in their childhood by their parents.

In brief, the writer can say that if we want this country has many successful person and great entrepreneurs, parents should create an entrepreneurship environment by introducing the entrepreneurship to their children early in their childhood.

References:

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